Meeting Your SO's Family

“Cheers to the people who love us, the losers who lost us, and the lucky bastards who get to meet us.”

Recommendations:

• Mems made on a Canon camera

• Men’s or women’s eyewear must-have: Tom Ford

• More sunsets, less Netflix

• Shirts that feel like butter, Skims

It is true what they say that opposites attract because I can guarantee I disagree with my husband on this topic (When to meet the family?). While he believes meeting the family early on is an efficient way to weed out an ill-fitted pairing, I think this methodology is insane. The beginning stages are for your opinions. Maybe some friends’ opinions, but a family’s can wait. If you haven’t met me without makeup on, you’re not meeting anyone who shares my DNA.

I don’t think there is a sweet spot for the timing here per se, instead, I think this decision is totally reliant on your level of comfort and confidence in your relationship. I decided to introduce my now-husband to a select few after he dropped the “I love you” bomb, at this point feeling more comfortable and confident in us as a couple. I figured the odds were in my favor…if he loved me, he would probably love the people who made me who I am too, and vice versa. 

Even with the logical approach, I still chose to ease him into my family tree, beginning with one relative (not Mom or Dad), who was local to the area we lived in at the time. We met for happy hour because it was bailable if the meet and greet went south. I mimicked this setup each time leveling up in familial importance and only graduating to dinner if the HH was a success. 

This might be the only part where my husband and I agree because if any member of my family said they didn’t like him, that was it. Gone. I would be out with my girls the following night looking for a new, eligible bachelor to buy me a dirty martini. 

Now back to the part where we disagree! My husband’s approach was signing me up for dinner with his brother pre-I love you and pre-“what are we?” conversations. Sidenote: he gave me zero information beforehand. All I knew was that his brother also lived in the city and his girlfriend was coming too. Fabulous foundation for small talk. Jack sh**. 

He did, however, make it abundantly clear how important his brother was to him, so I was only slightly (very much so) freaking out. I think I did the polite thing of just thinking, but never verbalizing that he would be dumped at the 1 train if it didn’t go well. Meanwhile, I knew without a shred of doubt I could be dumped over dessert, maybe even in front of the brother! Drinking aside, I think I blacked out for the entirety of this meal solely because of nerves. Shocked I didn't fumble my silverware with how much my palms were sweating. My husband would likely argue that if I had more confidence in myself, this setup would’ve never frazzled me. And maybe he's right, being THE confident man.  

In complete contrast, I prepped him with a tailored list of do’s and don'ts for each relative; to help set him up for success and ensure he avoided any potential landmines like Donald Trump or Joe Biden. At the end of the day, there really is no right way to prepare or ideal timing to abide by. March to the beat of your drum.

Let my other half know if there is a topic you want to hear about, types of stories you want to hear, or anything you want to help you. Remember, everything is in confidence and with anonymity.

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Yours truly,