The difference between cocky and confident

Do you think there is a fine line between cocky and confident? Do you think it’s the same thing? Do you think its two completely different things? It’s an interesting topic with a variety of opinions depending on who you’re speaking to.

To me, it’s a big difference which I’ve advised many people to promptly declare when confronted with this so-called slander. With that said, it should also not be something you should take as an insult. Let’s break it down by definition:

Cocky: conceited, arrogant, or egotistical, especially in a bold or brazen way.

Confident: Having or showing self-assurance. Being certain of your abilities or having trust in people, plans, or the future.

Being cocky is like when I used to tell women how the night was going to go or who they were or what they were thinking. “You’re so cocky. You think you know me so well,” they would tell me to which my response would always be “I’m not cocky, I’m confident”. You see how that line paints a picture in their minds differently? When you walk into a place knowing without thinking that you are the center of attention. That is confidence. When you walk into a place and tell people you are the center of attention, that’s cockiness. When I was having a conversation with a girl, speaking about specific topics knowing how to get her to think I’m listening because the result will be her thinking I’m different for listening, that’s confidence. Just thinking the girl will come back with me because I pay the bill with my egotistically heavy Amex Platinum thrown on the table? That’s cocky. In the end of the day, if you’re confident, you have a better chance.

See being confident is a form of confidence. Being cocky is a form of ego as Sigmund Freud would put it. You see, to be cocky, you must be confident, however in order to be confident, you don’t have to be cocky.

To be confident, you can read facial emotions, physicality, laughter, or social intimacy. Being confident is knowing something has a higher chance of happening based on experience or what has worked in the past. This doesn’t have to be socially. It can be for your career as well. It’s the reason the best are the best. They are confident.

Isn’t it funny though, that most of the time when a guy is told he’s cocky, it’s from a woman? There’s probably a reason for that. You ever see the confident guy go home alone or not get a number? You ever see the confident women not get looked at 100x at the bar or not be approached? You ever see that cocky guy get shut down by the confident woman? Kidding, that happens all the time. But this is where the difference between confidence and cockiness comes into play.

Cocky is overly confident yes, but confident none-the-less. Maybe instead of saying we are cocky or confident, we should be learning how to tone down the cockiness or humble oneself a couple levels. Showing assurance is much different than showing arrogance.

Being confident is simply assurance in oneself. That’s all confidence is. Whatever you do, whatever you wear, wherever you go, whatever you’re thinking, have assurance in yourself. This goes for men and women. Be confident enough to wear anything out at any time knowing that you look good. Be confident enough to know you can speak to anyone at any time. Be confident that who you choose to be it the most confident you.

Always remember, confidence is the key to ANYTHING. Stay strong.

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Let me know if there is a topic you want to hear about, types of stories you want to hear, or anything you want to help you. Remember, everything is in confidence and with anonymity.

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-TCM